I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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