Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
