Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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