I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
