i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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