I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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