I'm pants shitting drunk right now
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
bring money and cleavage
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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