You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
