"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
