I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
