Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
