your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
