I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
