What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Randomize
