I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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