Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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