Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
