I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
