why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
