Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
