she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
