i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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