To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
