Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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