I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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