I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
