Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
