That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Holy shit dude........stairs
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
