3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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