dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Buhtt sex?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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