Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
