You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
