I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
