I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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