So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Randomize
