i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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