And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
