Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Drake has all the answers
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
