i just wanna soil my oats bro
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
