Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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