Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I could fuck to npr.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
