I cannot find my penis.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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