I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
