I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
