so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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