I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
