I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
