Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Your cock deserves a montage
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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