You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
