I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
