Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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