my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
