that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
