I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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