I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
